Why I gave up on Potty Training.

So, I learned very quickly with my first child that there is zero point to pushing the potty training issue. When they are ready they are just ready and it will happen all on its own. My mother and countless well-meaning parents told me this and I refused to believe it. I researched every “fool proof way to potty train your kid in 3 minutes”, or days…whatever. I set the timer, made the charts, I bought the potty treats and the stickers and I did all the things. She picked out her own “frozen” underwear and proceeded to pee all over Elsa repeatedly, not gonna lie, I did get some kind of sick enjoyment out of that part, but it was mostly just a battle. The timer went off and it was a stare down/standoff may the odds be ever in your favor.  I was at my wits end. I hate to admit this, and will never tell her, but she won. I gave up.

And then the strangest thing happened, she started to use the potty, all on her own. I swear it happened overnight. The second I threw my hands in the air and accepted the fact that I was just going to have 2 babies in diapers, and that I should just take up stock in Huggies. I tell myself that she saw that she had worn me down, the guilt of wearing on her pregnant mother had softened her, she saw the look of defeat in my eyes and gave in, but the harder to admit, fact of the matter is that my Mother was right. She just wasn’t ready and my pushing only made it worse.

Now, almost three years later I find myself holding back from going down the same path. This time it’s even worse because now I really do have 2 babies in diapers. I didn’t push Ella since it had backfired with Lydia. I also didn’t push her because EVERYONE told me that #2 would be SO MUCH easier than the first. She would WANT to go on the potty just like her big sissy. False. This is false. We go on the potty when it’s requested which is hit or miss, depends on the minute with this volatile little being. And to be quite frank, sometimes I even tell her no when she makes the potty demand. It somehow always comes when the baby is screaming to eat and I am in the middle of making dinner. Or even more likely it’s right after I change a disgusting poopy diaper, now she wants to go on the potty, after she already went in her diaper and she clearly doesn’t need to go again right now. I feel like forcing the matter right now is only going to make matters worse since she is already taking issue with not being the “baby of the family” anymore.

I will happily take suggestions, but I think my plan over the next few weeks is to go back to the basics and do it on her terms. I will give in to the ridiculous potty demands, even if I know that she doesn’t have to actually go. I will put the baby down and take Ella to the bathroom and let her sit there for 10 minutes and fight with her that she doesn’t need to wipe if nothing came out, or should I give in and let her clog up the plumbing with perfectly good toilet paper, cha-ching?! Then I will let her wash her little hands until they are dried out and red and she demands lotion. Maybe if I do it enough on her terms it will stop resulting in going through the whole process just to have her tell me 2 minutes later that she needs a diaper change IMMEDIATELY, which by the way, if you can tell me while the pee is still steaming that you need a new diaper then I feel like you can just tell me that you need to go on the potty. She will get tired of doing all of that right, I mean it has to be an exhausting process for her too! Why did I give birth to such headstrong little people? I can’t imagine where they get it from…Kids are hard.


One thought on “Why I gave up on Potty Training.

  1. Hang in there Momma! I only experienced this with Ryan, but here’s what worked for us:
    -We made up two songs…one about being “Diaper-Free” and one about the characters on his underwear, which happens to be Blaze. ” don’t poop on blaze, don’t pee on Pickle” in a cute little jingle. This song has taken top spot on the popularity scale! 🙂
    -Pantsless Weekends. Works best when mommy & daddy are both home.
    -No Pull-ups. Treats them like diapers. Except below note…
    -Pull-ups OVER the underwear in the car or going to the store.
    I know you’ve probably heard most of these. And yes she’ll do it when she’s ready but maybe it will help a little bit 🙂


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